Address tae the Virus

This was to be the weekend of the IMC's Burns Supper; always a good social occasion, though not always blessed with good weather.  Thanks to Covid we've had to cancel all our weekend meets for the forseeable future, and our day meets until the end of February at least.  By way of compensation, our club Bard, Robin Forrest, has composed a special ode.

ADDRESS TAE THE VIRUS

(A lament for the IMC’s lost Burns Supper meet, 2021)

Hi! you, ye sleekit, crowlin ferlie, your impudence it costs us dearly;

Weel are ye wordy o' a curse as lang's my airm.

Ye ugly, creepin, blastit wonner, detested, shunn'd by saint an' sinner,

Thanks tae you we’ll hae nae haggis dinner, nae tatties, neep or whisky neither.

A curse upon ye!

It’s bad eunuch that fur weeks on end, ye kept us awa' frae climbin’ Bens,

Sic trouble frae a bug sae wee, that nane o’ us can even see!

This Covid cratur is sae sma’, we canna mak him oot at at a’,

It’s only scientists can hope, tae spy him wi’ a microscope.

Yet the politicians say, ye know, that tae Elphin we can’t go;

“Stay in yer hoose!” is whit they cry, “Fur if ye leave it you might DIE!

{And you must NEVER cast a doot, on what WE say we ken aboot.”)

So that’s it then, it’s sad tae say, we’re no’ allowed tae go away.

Nae speechifyin' frae thon Macniven; nae cheery, friendly chatter flowin’;

Nae laughs and jokes frae loon or quine, fur the government says it’s no yet time.

Nae Rab reciting doggerel verse, tho’ all there wish he’d be mair terse,

And shout across the table top “We’re fed up listenin’, can ye no’ just STOP!”

As abune’ it a’ we hear a yell frae oor Treasurer Steve Bell

Shoutin’ out - time after time: “Ma’ glass is empty - MAIR RED WINE!”

While through the door into the kitchen, Auld Muftti’s daen’ his usual bitchin’,

For naebody’s listenin’ tae his wishes, tae help him oot by washin’ dishes.

Take heart! In a month, or two (or three), a jab is sure tae set us free,

So we can stravaig up the hill, an’ hiv nae fear o’ fallin’ ill.

To shout the Mountain Battle Cry

“MONTANI SEMPER LIBERI !” *
*(“Mountaineers Are Always Free")